Teenyboppers of the Like, Caribbean
by Daroga's Rainy Daae
Summary: Three teenyboppers, Jessica, Mimi and Tiffany, are sucked into the time of Jack Sparrow and the Black Pearl! YES this IS a parody of Sues for all you clueless people! STORY COMPLETED!
1. The Magic Shoe Portal

Disclaimer: I dun own POTO - I mean - *sob* POTC... Guess I don't own either of  
them... Wish I owned both... Wish I owned Johnny Depp... I want a smoothie, and a  
massage, and a movie ticket, and Jack's hat, and his braids, and, come to think of it, I'd  
also like his pants - actually, if anyone knows where you can find a Spanish gold pirate  
necklace thing I'd be happy to get an e-mail from someone... HEY! Off topic! You want  
a story! Here you go:  
  
  
**DRD** proudly presents...  
  
  
A **Rainy Daae** production of...  
  
  
**Jessica** as **Teenybopper Jessica**  
  
  
**Tiffany** as **Teenybopper Tiffany**  
  
  
**Mimi** as **Teenybopper Mimi**  
  
  
  
IN  
  
  
  
**The Teenyboppers of the Like, Caribbean**  
  
  
  
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was the time of truth! It was the time  
of lies, it was the time of love, not to mention the time of misquoting. But it was ALSO  
the time of the teenage-pop music-and-Leonardo DiCaprio-lovers' weekly sleepover!   
Like yeah!  
  
"Like, I know what you mean," Jessica agreed with her co-best friend, Mimi, who had  
just been talking of Dreamboat Heath Ledger's latest fashion, and Jessica was now  
replying in a very 'into the scene' first line of a story.  
  
"Like, oh my god, you could like - be my sister, we are like - so alike!" Mimi said with a  
flip of her perfect shining hair.  
  
"Like, Mimi!" Tiffany said.  
  
"Yes, hon'?" Mimi asked, turning to Tiffany.  
  
"Your shoes! Like, where'd you get them?" Tiffany said.  
  
"PAYLESS!" Mimi blurted.  
  
All right, backtrack. She didn't really say that. But read, this is where it really gets  
interesting.  
  
"Your shoes! Like, where'd you get them?" Tiffany said.  
  
"Like, if you don't tell, I'll tell you," Mimi said, lowering her voice. The three girls  
crowded in a circle and giggled when they made eye contact at the whole seriousness of  
the matter.  
  
"Where?" Jessica asked eagerly.  
  
"This guy named Donny Jepp, like yeah. I was walking yesterday at the mall and he was  
sipping a latte at the reflecting pond, and I totally had to ask him where he got these  
'cause he was just like - sitting with them, you know? And he said that he was like  
waiting for me! I was totally flattered but like - fingering my pepper spray, right? Shya.   
And he gave me the shoes and told me that if I clicked them together three times while  
wearing them, I can be like... transported to some vacation spot in the Caribbean. I  
wasn't sure exactly like what he was talking about, but I just got the gist of it, right? So  
girls, let's try it, I was waiting for like - the right moment to tell you." Mimi finished her  
story and sat back up on her pink comforter.  
  
"Do you like - really believe that?" Jessica asked.  
  
"There's like, only one way to find out," Tiffany said.  
  
"You don't like mean...?" Jessica stared at her friend. Tiffany nodded. "Shut up! Shut  
up shut up shut up! We can't do that!"  
  
"Actually, shya, I think we can... Come on you guys, like - there are no boys around to  
look stupid in front of... I say we give it a shot; my tan is fading," Mimi said.  
  
"Mine too!" Jessica said.  
  
"And so is mine!" Tiffany piped up.  
  
"So what are we waiting for? Let's try it!" Mimi and her girlfriends stood up from the  
bed and held hands, giggling again. "Now I'll just click my heels three times-"  
  
"-And be careful not to scuff them!" Tiffany reminded her, deeply concerned.  
  
"I won't," Mimi assured her troubled friend. "Ready?"  
  
"Ready!" the other two agreed.  
  
"For the life of our like tans!" Mimi said, clicking her heels once.  
  
"For the life of our like tans!" Jessica said, and Mimi clicked her heels a second time.  
  
"For the life of our like oh my god!" Tiffany squealed as Mimi clicked her heels a third  
time - and their time journey had begun; to the past. To the past of the Caribbean!  
  
What our heroes didn't know, was that they were to be transported to the Black Pearl,  
right after when the movie took place, whenever that was supposed to be. (If anyone has  
dates, please see me.) What dangers, horrors, and impossible evil lies in store!?!?!  
  
  
  
I meant, for the PIRATES.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: DUN DUN DUN!!!!!!!!! Please review and I'll get another chapter up! Like it?   
Hate it? Definitely more to come! I know it's not very POTC oriented so far, but it's  
going to be cuh-razy! :D :D :D 


	2. Captain J Sparrow and the Teenyboppers

A/N: Thank you for your nice reviews people! As I can tell from your lovely reviews,  
you're expecting some pirate-ness in this, so I'm not going to make you wait any longer.   
ENJOY! :D  
  
  
  
**The Teenyboppers of the Like, Caribbean  
  
Chapter II**  
  
  
  
"-It's not yer fault, matey; I know how hard it can be to scrub a few floors in the lower  
levels, especially if there are a few MICE to accompany yeh! Hah! What kind of a ship  
do you think I am captaining here? I can't have work done late over a herd of harmless  
rodents, so perhaps it would be best to throw you overboard and get someone more  
worthy for the job? How does that sound?" Captain Jack Sparrow glowered at the  
musophobic pirate before him.  
  
When there was no reply, and no move to try the mice instead of try the captain's  
patience, the doomed pirate was thrown overboard and met with the ocean, which, to  
Captain Jack, made the most satisfying splash.  
  
The sun was shining, the wind was warm, and Captain Jack was having a wonderful day.  
  
Suddenly, there was a huge BOOM and a flash of light, and before Jack could even shout  
"Retaliate whomever dares challenge the Pearl!", he was accompanied by three giggling  
girls. Captain Jack's mouth dropped.  
  
"What the bloody hell are you doing here!?" he shouted to them angrily. They seized to  
listen.  
  
"This place is like - so cute, I mean what's it supposed to be? Like a Caribbean Luau, but  
like - without the Hawaiian theme; it's totally Pirate!" Jessica jabbered quickly, peering  
around the place.  
  
"OMG! And look!" Mimi pointed excitedly at the flabbergasted crew. "They've got the  
cute little captain and everything!"  
  
"Now wait just a moment-" Captain Jack started, but was interrupted by a shove from  
Tiffany as she sprung up and ran to the helm.  
  
"Look! It's like - so real, girls! Wow, Mimi, your shoes like actually worked!" Tiffany  
gushed. Mimi ran up to accompany her friend.  
  
"Hey! Hey, hey!" Jack protested, rushing to the helm and slapping the girls' hands away  
from the handles. "You will not touch that! Do you have any idea-"  
  
"Are you the tour guide?" Jessica interrupted.  
  
"What? No, I'm-"  
  
"You want some gum?" Mimi asked him, shoving a hand in her pocket. The whole crew  
drew their guns. When Mimi found her gum and offered Jack a piece, she looked up and  
squealed. "Put those away! Put them away away awaaaaay!" she screamed.  
  
"Like, not even funny! Those could be loaded!" Tiffany said to the pirates.  
  
"Yeah! Like even with blanks those could STILL mess up our hair and all that," Jessica  
added. The pirates, exchanging weird looks, decided silently among themselves that the  
newcomers were insane, but harmless, and unarmed.  
  
"How in the blazes did you three get here?" Jack demanded.  
  
"Well excuuuuuse me mister high-and-mighty, but with an attitude like that, I don't think  
I want YOUR service!" Jessica spat.  
  
"Look, missy; how did you get here? It's a simple question to answer, and if you don't  
tell me straightforward, it will be the plank for you; I make no special offers for the  
ladies," Jack snarled. And on a second thought, he added, "Not like you three are much  
of ladies, prancing around on my ship with paint all over your faces wearing ridiculous  
outfits."  
  
There was a pause in the dialogue as the three girls fumed. Suddenly, all three of them  
burst into tears.  
  
"I want air conditioning!" Jessica sobbed.  
  
"You guys are mean! I can't believe you'd be so rude to willing paying customers!"  
Tiffany wailed.  
  
"And if you think we're going to suggest you guys to ANYONE, forget it! As if!" Mimi  
spluttered. The girls began to shout and cry all at the same time, and their show became  
annoying and painful all too quickly. The crew, all expect for the captain, went back to  
their normal duties, whispering among themselves.  
  
"All right, all right, stop it, I didn't mean it, just go back where you came from, savvy?"  
Jack tried to speak over the girls' wailing.  
  
"I don't know HOW!" Jessica sobbed.  
  
"How did yeh get here?"  
  
"The shoes! I tapped them together three times and I ended up here!" Mimi sniffed,  
patting Tiffany on the back who was carefully wiping her mascara-leaking eyes.  
  
"Try the shoes again," Jack suggested patiently, internally laughing at their comical  
stupidity.  
  
Mimi tried, but nothing happened. She began to wail again.  
  
"Who are you, anyway? Aren't you a little dirty for a tour guide?" Jessica said tearfully.  
  
"A what?" Jack asked, then he shook his head. "Look - I'm a captain of a pirate ship,  
savvy? There's no 'tour guide' around here. Now, I don't know where yeh came from,  
but you sure as hell aren't where you want to be, I can tell yeh that."  
  
"You mean - we're not in a vacation spot?" Tiffany asked with fear in her voice.  
  
"Uh; no," Jack replied. The girls started to wail again.  
  
"Great, NOW I'll never get a tan! I'm going to die!" Mimi shouted.  
  
"We're going to die before we're married! Before I can tell Brad Pitt I love him! It's not  
fair!" Jessica crowed wetly.  
  
"We're going to die right now before we can get a manicure, and we'll be dumped into  
the ocean, which will ruin our cuticles and hair roots for suuuuuure!" Tiffany groaned  
between sobs.  
  
"Don't worry, Lass, we won't hurt you!" Jack assured Tiffany. All of a sudden, Tiffany   
automatically stopped crying and unexpectedly leapt into the captain's arms.  
  
"You understand me!" Tiffany blurted. "What's your name, pirrrate?" She rolled her 'r'  
sounding generally like a hooker. "You have no idea how badly my boyfriend treats me, I  
want YOU! I WANT you! I like SO want you!" she squealed, fingering his braids.  
  
"Get off!" Jack blurted with disgust. Tiffany drew back and "hmphed". The other girls  
were over themselves, and all three stood and stared.   
  
There was silence.  
  
"OMG!" Mimi squee-ed, pushing past Jack Sparrow towards a conveniently placed wine  
rack. "Is that that expensive 1659 rare white wine? Oh, I'd like die for a glass of that!"  
  
"Let's get drunk on it!" Jessica sang insanely.  
  
"Something I understand - and agree on!" Jack said, throwing up his hands in surrender.  
  
"Yeah, let's get through the technical stuff later," Tiffany said, grabbing the bottle off the  
shelf before Mimi could get her hands on it. "This is the only way I know how t relieve  
stress that causes wrinkles."  
  
"Amen," Jack said, snatching the bottle from Tiffany.  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: Like it? Hate it? Flames are accepted! Got one already, look there! Please review  
and tell me what you honestly think! :D :D :D :D :D 


	3. Barf and Anamaria's Plot Revealed

A/N: Hey guys! Thanks for all the reviews, it's really appreciated! Here's the next  
chapter; but man, you people are so demanding for a good Jack! Hey-lo! It's not like I'm  
the insanely great screenwriters who created him! It seems that you people fall for the  
"love" calling and "swaggering" from Jack, so I'll have that in here today to satisfy your  
love for him. :D  
  
  
**  
Teenyboppers of the Like, Caribbean  
  
Chapter III  
**  
  
"You know, I totally wish I had brought my boyfriend's boxers with me," Jessica sighed,  
staring off into the darkness. "Because they would like make the greatest comfortable  
pajamas!"  
  
It was twilight on the Black Pearl, and most of the crew were still awake, but avoiding the  
new threesome of futuristic teenyboppers. But when he was drunk, Captain Jack didn't  
mind them at all.  
  
"I don't know of no boxers, love," Jack said to Jessica, taking a seat next to her with two  
full bottles of rum in his hands, offering one to her. "But you can forget about yer  
boyfriend; you won't be seein' him again anytime soon."  
  
Jessica took the bottle of rum, chugged it, then wiped her mouth with the back of her  
hand, giggling. "Whatchnever; you're definitely cuter than himsh!" she slurred then  
threw herself into Jack's lap. Before any more could be done, she had passed out.  
  
"Back!" Tiffany squealed, running up to Jack and Jessica with Mimi close at her heels. "I  
found the cards where you told me they'd be! How about that strip poker!?" Her head  
tilted dangerously to one side.  
  
"And your name is...?" Jack squinted to get a closer look.  
  
"Ummm..." While Tiffany was thinking about it, she overbalanced and passed out on top  
of Jessica.  
  
"Not fair!" Mimi whined. "I want to be in your lap!"  
  
"Don't worry, love, there's enough room for everybody," Jack assured her. Mimi  
squee-ed and pounced into him, getting her face up close to his.  
  
"You know what I'd like, like - right now?" Mimi said to Jack seriously, staring into his  
beautiful auburn eyes.  
  
"What's that?" he asked.  
  
"WILD SEX!" she shrieked. And for a moment, Jack snapped out of his drunken trance.  
  
"Wait a moment," he said, looking worried. "Exactly how old are yeh, love?"  
  
"Eighteen, but does it matter? I'm a slut!" Mimi shouted proudly.  
  
"All right, then," Jack said, shrugging.  
  
  
The next morning...  
  
  
Jack awoke to massive gagging. He opened his eyes and looked through his quarters'  
window to discover that both Jessica's and Tiffany's heads had disappeared over the side  
of the Pearl, clearly retching their guts out. The only one of the three girls who seemed to  
be fine was Mimi, who was happily asleep, snuggled up to Captain Jack.  
  
Jack recoiled and stood abruptly from his bed, dressing in panic. He scrambled out the  
door. "Be careful, be careful!" he yelled to Jessica and Tiffany. "Don't let any of that  
touch my ship!"  
  
Tiffany popped her head up long enough to stare at him for a dazed moment, flip him off,  
then go back to puking.  
  
"I like want OFF this ship!" Mimi screamed from inside the little room.  
  
"Ditto to that!" Jessica hissed fiercely. "This sure doesn't beat sticking my finger down  
my throat. That I can control. This is like - ridiculous!"  
  
"Shya!" Tiffany agreed. "You have to row this thing back to LA or something, because I  
seriously need to get home! Where are we, anyway? Like in the middle of NOWHERE!"  
  
"Go back where yeh came from, I'm not stopping yeh," Jack said warily. "You can jump  
off any time and swim to wherever you want to be, savvy?" he hissed.  
  
"Oh come off it, we know you have something to do with this," Jessica said  
all-knowingly.  
  
"What!?!" Jack said, bewildered. "Why would I want to bring three bloody annoying  
girls from the past, here? HOW?"  
  
All thought on this.  
  
"Move over, girls," Mimi groaned as she rushed up to them, clothed in a bed sheet. She  
stuck her head over the railing and barfed.  
  
"My ship! My beautiful ship!" Jack shouted, panicked again. "You three get in a row  
boat and leave! Now! Get off my ship!"  
  
"Oh, like you would make us," Mimi giggled, twirling her hair with a finger at him.  
  
  
Five minutes later...  
  
  
"Nice going, Mimi!" Jessica huffed from the rowboat, staring up at the giant ship. From  
there she could see Jack standing contentedly at the helm.  
  
"Shove over," Mimi grumbled, pushing Jessica.  
  
"Stop it!" Tiffany growled. "You guys are only grumpy because we haven't showered  
and we've been wearing the same clothes for two days!"   
  
Jessica giggled. "Mimi doesn't have any clothes," she pointed.  
  
"Shut up, or I'll like - throw you in the water," Mimi threatened.  
  
"Psst! Girls!"  
  
The threesome arguers were interrupted by a loud hiss from one of the lower cabin  
windows. There, sticking her head from the porthole, was Anamaria.  
  
"I'm Anamaria," she said, cocking her hat at a jaunty angle. "As the only female pirate  
on board, I wouldn't mind having a few stowaways, if you know what I mean."  
  
"I'm sorry, hon'," Tiffany said. "We don't have any canned food for you."  
  
Anamaria gave them a "tuh" look and motioned for the three to come in through the  
window.  
  
"I'll save you a life of rowing, all right?" She smirked, grabbing Mimi's hand to hoist her  
in. _They're so stupid, _she thought, _they don't even know it was I who sent Donny Jepp to  
their time to guide them here! By the power of my Magical Time Egg, I shall soon RULE  
this ship once and for all! Muahaha! Muahahaha! Muahahaha!_  
  
  
  
  
A/N: Ummm... Yeah... Good? Bad? Better than the other chapters? Worse than the  
other chapters? Please review, and thanks! More to come! :D :D :D :D 


	4. The Short Chapter of Girliness

A/N: I've decided to try this idea and see if people enjoy it: I'm going to make personal  
thank you's and comments to people cuz I appreciate it, so I'm betting you will too! Fun!   
Besides, there's some things I want to get straight - okay, here we go:  
  
  
**SS/Destiny Daae**: Yes! I knew you'd understand! But I think this story may go  
somewhere. But if it doesn't, you can tell me "I told you so."  
  
  
**Saiyan-Girl-Cheetah**: I didn't put a comma after every "like" because I thought the valley  
girls kind of just add them in where they don't belong, and I believe that a comma might  
disrupt the balance of the whole valley-girl-ness of it. 'Twould also interrupt the flow of  
the speech - "like" just pops out, you know?  
  
  
**Beads**: Thanks for loving that line! I lurve it too!  
  
  
**Happychaos**: Thanks so much! Love the recognition! "Wonderful mind" ooh! You're  
my favorite! Teehee!  
  
  
**Aelimir**: Uhhh.... er.... sorry. Poor OOC Jack.  
  
  
Although that was the end of personalized comments, I still love all of you for reviewing,  
even the flamers! That's why I'll list the rest of you right here! Thank you:** Bellatrixx  
Krystynnia Keily, aznkitty11, August DuMonte, Raven185, Anne Parkington, Anya  
Midnight, Jehan's Muse, Tamzin, Mrs.Sparrow, Undomiel Malfoy, The Phantom  
Parisienne, Cheese Head, Yao Kafei, GotSparrow, Elanial, bebe, TPP, Ariel-chan,   
TolkienFan711, Cindy, AgentStarbuck, Katterree Fengari, and Dazzle1.**  
  
  
  
**Teenyboppers of the Like, Caribbean  
  
Chapter IV**  
  
  
"So, like, what's the catch, Ana?" Jessica asked Anamaria as she was pulled through the  
porthole.  
  
"Anamaria, thank you," she snapped. "And don't you forget it."  
  
"Shya, shya, whatever," Mimi said, shoving through. "But she asked you a question.   
What's in it for you?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Come on, do you like think we were born yesterday?" Mimi said. "Isn't it kind of  
suspicious for a pirate to help us out; we're feminists. We don't buy that "'cause I'm the  
only girl" crap!"  
  
"Well, um-" Anamaria stuttered. _Cad-fridge!,_ she thought. _ They're on to me!_  
  
"Obviously you want us to paint your nails or something," Tiffany added.  
  
"Is that it, hon'?" Jessica asked. Anamaria automatically relaxed.  
  
"Uh, yeah, that's right," she giggled fretfully. "A manicure would be nice."  
  
"And some braids?" Mimi offered.  
  
"No way, Mimi! Like, braids are Jack's style!" Tiffany said. "She's more of a zigzag  
part... Hmmm..."  
  
The girls began to giggle and play with Anamaria's hair, while Jessica examined her  
nails.  
  
_At least they're earning my trust while I create my diversion, _Anamaria thought as Mimi  
accidentally knocked ribbon off the shelf. _After that, I'll just have to come up with some  
story to make them go through with my evil-plot-of-doom without actually knowing it's  
an evil-plot-of-doom... All too easy! Muahaha! Muahaha! Muaha- Oh GOD, I'm glad I  
only have to sit through this for one day!_  
  
  
Two hours later...  
  
  
"Anamaria!" Jack barked as the female pirate zoomed up the stairs from below deck. She  
stopped in her tracks and turned to him, looking sly and guilty. "Anamaria, WHY are you  
looking sly and guilty?" Jack asked.  
  
"Captain!" she said brightly after stuttering for a good four seconds. There was blank  
staring. Jack surveyed Anamaria's makeover.  
  
"Well, you could have just TOLD me!" he sighed, finally.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You know that you have every right to express yourself as a girl! No shame in that!"   
He smiled and slapped her on the back.  
  
"Oh yes, right," she replied. "Like it?"  
  
"Well, uh..." Jack absorbed the extreme pinkity of the chosen nail polish on both her  
fingers and toes, and the stylish part in her shining, flowing hair. "I think it's lovely," he  
said after a while. "Just - don't get used to it, savvy?"  
  
"Whatever you say, captain," Anamaria said, saluting. She began to walk away when she  
remembered what she can come running up there for; and not just to escape the girls and  
their maddening giggling and painful gossip of "how cute Jack is" and "where'd he get  
that charcoal?" and "I'd like some of him"-type talk.  
  
"Captain?"  
  
"Aye."  
  
"Um - THINK FAST!" Anamaria shrieked, tearing the Magical Time Egg out of her  
pocket.  
  
"Not the egg! Wait - what?" Jack stared.  
  
"Ha!" Anamaria cracked the Magical Time Egg over Jack's head, spilling the Yolk of  
Doom all over his bandanna-covered hair. In a hazy instant, Jack Sparrow disappeared.   
"Ha ha ha!" she shouted with laughter, "Part two out of three of my plan is done! NOW  
all I have to do, is-"  
  
And before she could finish her sentence, a large glob of the egg yolk fell smack on her  
face, caused by the elaborate arm movements she had been making to emphasize her  
victory. Big mistake.  
  
"Nooooooo!" she cried, fading in and out once before disappearing just as Jack had done.  
  
Nobody was at the helm now, for the captain of the Black Pearl and his backstabbing,  
conniving female companion had just been sucked into the future! The future of Mimi's  
room, 2003!  
  
What was part three of Anamaria's plan? What did it have to do with the teenyboppers?   
What will the pirates do now that their captain is gone? Will the teenyboppers ever get  
home? Why did the Magical Time Egg send the duo to the future? Where did Anamaria  
get it? How will Jack and Anamaria get back to the past!? WHEN WILL I STOP  
ASKING ALL THESE QUESTIONS!?! RIGHT NOW!  
  
The rest of the questions may be answered... Next time! STAY TUNED!  
  
  
  
  
A/N: Like it? Hate it? Confusing? I know, party because of writer's block and my  
sisters constantly nagging for the computer. Sorry about the lame chapter - and hopefully  
the next one will be more interesting! Thank you and good nigh- er - day! :D :D :D 


	5. Seven Questions and the Bermuda Triangle

A/N: WOW! I got like - NO reviews on chapter four! Save for the four nice people I list  
right now: **The Phantom Parisienne, Princess of Pixies, El Diablo Firestarter, and LizZ  
SpaRRoW**. The nice people. Thank you. On to the story!  
  
  
**Teenyboppers of the Like, Caribbean  
  
Chapter V  
**  
  
"So she says to me, 'Take these here shoes and they'll take yous to da mall,' so I says -  
'What does this heres pay?' and she says, 'Is dat all da thanks I's be getting from my ex?'  
and I says, 'What's it pay?' and that's hows it goes, but I's gotta tell ya - this is da life -  
margaritas, no more of dat hoaky Anamaria; I's don't know - hit me again." Donny Jepp  
raised his margarita glass and a patient waiter filled it to the brim.  
  
"So how did you get here again, sir?" the waiter asked curiously; politely amused.  
  
"After I's be giving dos shoes to dem teenyboppers, whats I do next is a mystery to me's!   
I trip over dat fountain in da mall and I end up in da Bermuda Triangle! I's be calling it  
luck, but I don't know hows I'm getting out of heres."  
  
"Don't worry, sir. You can stay here as long as you'd like," the waiter said.  
  
"Thank yous; someone here understands my problems! I like yous, kid. I's might be  
staying heres for a long time," Donny Jepp said.  
  
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a questionnaire appeared in Donny's lap.  
  
"That sometimes happens," the waiter informed him. "Call me if you need anything."   
He stalked off down the beach, leaving the sunning Donny Jepp to his questionnaire.  
  
"Lesse heres, whats this say?" Jepp peered at the list of questions. They read like this:  
  
What was part three of Anamaria's plan? What did it have to do with the teenyboppers?   
What will the pirates do now that their captain is gone? Will the teenyboppers ever get  
home? Why did the Magical Time Egg send the duo to the future? Where did Anamaria  
get it? How will Jack and Anamaria get back to the past?  
  
"Hmmm... Wow, those are toughies," Donny said to himself, pulling a pen from his  
pocket. "Better gets started. Numbers one."  
  
**What Was Part Three of Anamaria's Plan?**  
  
  
Meanwhile, in the Caribbean...  
  
  
"Shya, like - I'm wondering what's taking her so long," Mimi grumbled as she, Tiffany  
and Jessica sat on Anamaria's cot.  
  
"Well, she DID say she'd be down here after she told Jack something," Jessica  
confirmed.  
  
"Then why is she like taking so long? That's what I'm asking!" Mimi shot.  
  
"Did none of you hear that evil laughter?" Tiffany interrupted Mimi and Jessica's little  
tiff.  
  
"What?" Jessica said.  
  
"Yeah! Was I like - the only one who heard her plan unfold? She was trying to use us as  
bait!" Tiffany continued.  
  
"Anamaria didn't like say anything about her plan unfolding," Mimi said, staring at her  
friend strangely.  
  
"That's because-" Tiffany hesitated. "I... I can read minds." There was silence.  
  
"Really?" Jessica whispered.  
  
"Really," Tiffany whispered back. "I heard-" She stopped in mid-sentence to motion for  
her friends to come closer around her. "I heard her think that after she sent Jack into the  
future, she would be rid of him for good. So SHE could take over the ship. Think about  
it! Part one of her plan was to send us back in time. Part two was to send Jack to our  
time. Part three was to take over the ship."  
  
  
Meanwhile, back in the Bermuda Triangle...  
  
  
"Okays, now... Question two..." Donny Jepp chewed on the end of his pen, ink spurting  
into his mouth. "Waiter!" he gagged.  
  
**What Did it Have to do With the Teenyboppers?**  
  
  
In the Caribbean...  
  
  
"So what does that have to do with us?" Mimi whispered. "Why did she want us to go  
back in time so she could take over the ship?"  
  
"Anamaria sent Donny Jepp to the mall where there would be plenty of people to  
manipulate. Study shows that only the most gullible and stupid valley girls would take  
shoes from an absolute stranger just because they're cute. With the shoes, you were sent  
back in time. The time that we came from; 2003; was programmed into the shoes. The  
Magical Time Egg sucked up the time from the shoes, and that's why your shoes didn't  
work to go home in the first place. When cracked over Jack's head, the Yolk of Doom  
sent Jack into the future for good," Tiffany said.  
  
"How do you know all this?" Jessica asked. "And why are we talking in whispers?"  
  
"Oh, I dunno," Tiffany shrugged, talking normally. "But I know this because I could read  
Anamaria's mind!"  
  
"Why didn't you tell us you could read minds, before?" Mimi asked, exasperated.  
  
"I thought you guys might think I was a freak," Tiffany said, shrugging.  
  
"But Anamaria's plans were foiled!" Jessica said, excitedly. "She went into the future,  
too!"  
  
"That's the problem," Tiffany sniffed. "We could be stuck here for good!"  
  
  
Meanwhile, in Bermuda Triangle...  
  
  
"Thanks for the extra pen," Donny said. "Yous a real life saver."  
  
"No problem, sir," the waiter sighed, crumpling up an ink-covered napkin in his fist.   
"That is why you should not suck on pens."  
  
"Yeah, I's won't be doing DAT from now on!" Jepp laughed. "Okays, on to question  
three..."  
  
**What Will the Pirates Do Now That Their Captain is Gone?**  
  
  
The Caribbean...  
  
  
"Hey, you guys!" Mimi exclaimed. "I like just had an idea!"  
  
"What's that?" Jessica asked.  
  
"Since Anamaria had to like, crack that nasty yolk all over Jack's head - what are the  
chances that some of it didn't spill on the ground?" Mimi said.  
  
"You're right!" Tiffany shouted, eyes wide. "Let's go up and see!"  
  
The girls hurried up the stairs to a lovely breeze and warm sun - also a bunch of confused  
pirates.  
  
"Hey!" one shouted. "THEY know where our captain is! Get them!"  
  
"No, wait, hey!" Jessica shrieked as she was swarmed by angry pirates.  
  
"Like, my hair! Watch the shoes!" Mimi squealed.  
  
"Put me down now, because I can like - read all your minds!" Tiffany bellowed. The  
girls were instantly dropped. The pirates backed away and Tiffany 'hmphed', brushing  
herself off. "Now that's better," she said.  
  
"Where's our captain?" Gibbs grunted, stepping forward.  
  
"He's in the future because of Anamaria, but no worries; we can fix the problem," Mimi  
blurted.  
  
"How?" random pirates asked scatteredly.  
  
"The yol-" Jessica started, but just then saw a cabin boy wring out a sponge, wet with egg  
yolk, over the side of the ship. "We're doomed!" she cried.  
  
The girls began to bawl.  
  
  
The Bermuda Triangle...  
  
  
"Zzzzzzzzz... Zzzzzzzzz..."  
  
It appeared that Donny Jepp had fallen asleep. Too bad. When he wakes up, he will still  
have four more questions to answer! Will the teenyboppers ever get home? Why did the  
Magical Time Egg send the duo into the future? Where did Anamaria get it? How will  
Anamaria and Jack get back to the past?  
  
The girls have been left bawling, and Jack and Anamaria have not been heard of. But  
there will be more of them, guaranteed! And more questions will be answered! Next  
time!  
  
  
  
  
A/N: Hmmm...? You like? Sorry about the non-Jack-ness of the chapter, but I swear  
there will be a lot of him in the next chapter! Thank you all! How about that Donny  
Jepp, huh? Cool? Hehehe. ENJOY! :D :D :D :D 


	6. Jack and Jill

A/N: Hey peeps! Thanks for liking Donny Jepp! Nice people for reviewing chapter five  
are: **SoCruel, Black Morgan Rackham, happychaos, The Phantom Parisienne, yumi, and  
Raven185**! Thanks! Oy, guess I got another flamer; but two outta however many ppls  
there are is pretty good! Ah well; thanks for keeping it real, I guess. ;)  
  
**Black Morgan Rackham**: Hope you like your character!  
  
  
**Teenyboppers of the Like, Caribbean  
  
Chapter VI**  
  
  
"Sir."  
  
"Zzzzz..."  
  
"Sir!"  
  
"Zzz- huh!?"  
  
"You're drooling all over your questionnaire!" Donny Jepp blinked many a time before  
the waiter came into focus. He groaned and sat up, squinting into the sun.  
  
"Oops, well; thanks for telling me's," Donny muttered, wiping the questionnaire off on  
the waiter's jacket.  
  
"Don't mention it," the waiter grumbled, stalking off.  
  
"All righty," Jepp sighed. "Next question..."  
  
** Will The Teenyboppers Ever Get Home?**  
  
"Hoo boy! How am I s'posed to knows dat? I skip until the plot is readys for my answer!   
Next question!" Jepp scanned the page.  
**  
Why Did the Magical Time Egg Send the Duo Into the Future?**  
  
  
Meanwhile, in Mimi's bedroom...  
  
  
"Waaaaaaaah-OOF!" Anamaria tumbled from the time tunnel onto the Jack-infested floor  
of Mimi's. She conveniently landed right on top of him.  
  
"Hey! Get off; get off!" Jack protested, kicking Anamaria aside. She glared at him, but  
her look of anger quickly dissolved into doom.  
  
"We're doomed!" Anamaria shouted.  
  
"I could tell that by the doomed look on your face," Jack grumbled. "I demand to know  
what's going on! Why are we surrounded by fuzzy pink things? Where's all the gold?   
The rum? The ship!?"  
  
"I, uh... Well, I - I sent us into the future," Anamaria said.  
  
"Not that great of a future if you ask me," Jack muttered. "All right, then! I'm sure  
we've both learned a lot from this futuristic experience, but I'd like to be getting back to  
the Pearl now, if you don't mind."  
  
Anamaria just stared with the same doomed look on her face.  
  
"You can't get us back, can you?" Jack asked monotone. Anamaria shook her head.   
  
A loud knock on the door made Jack and Anamaria whip around and face it intently.   
They were both deathly silent.  
  
"Mimi, it's time to come down for dinner. No, your friends CANNOT stay for it, no they  
CANNOT stay the night, and no; we do NOT have your clothes from the Laundromat,  
you-stupid-teenybopper-of-a-sister, Mom says you have to come down RIGHT NOW.   
Tuh."  
  
There was no answer.  
  
"Mimi?" The girl jiggled the door handle. Both Jack and Anamaria attempted to dive  
under the bed.  
  
The door flew open, and there stood Mimi's younger sister, Jill; the smarter, more  
sensible child-of-fifteen (who, by the way, had seen every Johnny Depp movie ever  
made).  
  
"Oh my god," Jill stammered, her eyes widening at least three times their normal size.   
"You're not Mimi!"  
  
Anamaria, who had successfully claimed under the bed before Jack, had disappeared from  
view. Jack, on the other hand, stood up abruptly and stared in shock at Jill, who had a  
similar stare-of-shock.  
  
"Jack Sparrow's me name," he uttered.  
  
"I'm Jill," Jill replied in a very breathtaken way. "And - I am your number one fan!"  
  
"I have a fan?" Jack wondered aloud, shock fading into flattery. "How have YOU heard  
of me?"  
  
"I've seen every one of your movies!" Jill whispered with passion. "And - and! I love  
you!"  
  
"Well that's not... right..." Jack said.  
  
"I want to snog you!" Jill shrieked, but quickly gained her composure. "I mean, uh...   
What brings you here, mister Depp?"  
  
"What? My name's Jack Sparr-"  
  
"Yes, we know," Jill said. "Like I said; I've seen every one of your movies, including  
Pirates of the Caribbean. But I do love your performance in Edward Scissorhands, it  
made me cry so hard! Speaking of crying, Cry Baby was a rather stupid movie, and you  
really can't sing, so I don't suggest trying to go into the business..."  
  
She continued to babble on about this Johnny Depp fellow for the longest time. Jack was  
actually fascinated, but mostly just confused.  
  
"...and on a lighter note, Sleepy Hollow is not a bad movie at all, and your character was so  
cool! But on the subject of Chocolat-"  
  
"Shut up!" Anamaria shouted, bustling out from under the bed, hair and clothes askew.   
"I can't take it anymore! I don't know who you think this guy is, but he's not anyone  
named Johnny Depp; he's Jack Sparrow, captain of the Black Pearl and I sent him to the  
future by way of a Magical Time Egg by cracking the Yolk of Doom over his head so we  
would be rid of him for good on the Pearl and I would be made captain as I am the most  
trusted first mate, which Jack mistakenly put his trust in someone like me, although I am  
an untrustworthy PIRATE! Now I meant to do this, but I didn't mean to send myself  
here, so here we are, un-egged, un-yolked, and stuck! Stuck, I tell you! SO SHUT UP  
ABOUT MOVIES OR WHATEVER YOU CALL THEM! AH! AH! AGH!"  
  
There was a strong-tensioned silence around the room.  
  
"As soon as we get back to the Pearl," Jack said, snapping out of the blinking phase first,  
"I'm going to make you walk the plank, love."  
  
"I knew it!" Anamaria shrieked. "That's why I don't tell you stuff!"  
  
"Okay..." Jill blinked. "I think I should be going now..."  
  
"Hold it!" Jack growled. "You're going nowhere, now that you know everything. You're  
staying here while I ask some questions!"  
  
"Fine by me," Jill shrugged, lovestruck.  
  
"Now, you," Jack growled even meanerly (-- made up for the occasion), "I'm going to  
ask you some questions, as I've previously stated, and you better be willing to give me  
answers!"  
  
"Will it spare my plank walking?" Anamaria asked, hopefully.  
  
"If we get back to the Pearl by tomorrow, I will not make you walk the plank; but I will  
ban you from first maticy-" (-- also made up for the occasion) "-as is the suitable  
punishment."  
  
"It's a deal!" Anamaria said brightly. "Now I'll tell you everything-"  
  
"-But first, tell us the most important thing," Jack interrupted.  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"Why did the Magical Time Egg send us into the future?" Jack asked.  
  
"It's a Magical Time Egg from the treasure of Black-eyed Pete and his Men of Terror and  
Destruction! I found it off the coast of Cuba when everyone else was window shopping,"  
Anamaria said guiltily. "It wasn't really part of any treasure, so I didn't alert anyone. I  
picked it up because it came with a pair of shoes and I was wondering why; so I locked  
myself in my cabin and decided to work out the mystery myself. So I did. And I used the  
egg for evil!"  
  
Jack and Jill blinked.  
  
"Hey, I just noticed something!" Jill giggled. "Our names are Jack and Jill! Like in the  
nursery rhyme! We were meant for each other!"  
  
  
Meanwhile, in the Bermuda Triangle...  
  
  
"Hmmm... Now, lesse... Next question is 'How Did Anamaria Get It?' Hey! I's already  
answered dat!" Jepp cheered. "Only the two toughies left, now!"  
  
Indeed! The two questions left were: How will Jack and Anamaria get back to the past?   
and Will the teenyboppers ever get home?  
  
"Uuuuuuhhhhhmmmmmm...."  
  
While Donny Jepp is thinking hard, we wait! So we must give him time! This chapter  
has ended, but we still have those two most important questions left! Will they ever be  
answered? Perhaps!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: Fun? Not fun? At least it had Jack in it! :P Thank you, and ENJOY! :D :D :D :D   



	7. ZC, Jill's Suggestion, and Makeovers

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, people! Really appreciated!  
  
  
**Marie the Black Rose**: I think you should stick to one penname (lol), it's really confusing  
- yes, Jill is the character I gave to you. :P  
  
  
**happychaos**: Thanks for picking that part of the chapter out, I had lots of fun with it.  
  
  
**Julia Rose**: You rock! I have never rented all Johnny Depp movies, but I may someday.  
  
  
**Raven185**: Thanks for reviewing so much! I'm really glad to know I've got a constant  
reader along with Marie the Black Rose and-  
  
  
**The Phantom Parisienne**: -you! You know, I just figured out a couple days ago that TPP  
is you (lol), just goes to show how abbreviately-challenged I am.  
  
  
And a special thanks to all chapter six reviewers I have not mentioned above: **Lil K, lisa,  
Pirates Life 4 me, and Aelimir**. And thanks to everyone I haven't mentioned and should  
have! Now, on to chapter seven!  
  
  
**Teenyboppers of the Like, Caribbean  
  
Chapter VII  
**  
  
Donny Jepp, happily sleeping, was awaken startingly when there was an unexpected crack  
of lightning, which was indeed an unexpected event as the sun was shining and there was  
not a cloud in the sky. I daresay, it was not a rare event, for he was in the Bermuda  
Triangle. The fact that Donny Jepp was a heavy sleeper could be taken into account  
because although there had been a crack of lightning, he would not have awaken if it had  
just been that.  
  
At the instant that the crack of lightning had sounded and protruded from the sky, a girl  
had fallen swiftly, screaming, from the end of the sizzling bolt right into Donny's lap,  
rendering him... awake.  
  
"Who! Wha-! Who-!" Donny stuttered, jolting up to see the girl topple from his lap and  
onto the sand, in which she continued to scream in panic, seemingly unaware that she was  
safely on land and not flying through the air anymore.  
  
"Whoas, whoas!" Donny shouted, stooping to calm the girl down. "It's okays, you're all  
right!" The girl seemed not to hear him, still flailing around and screaming. "Are yous  
hurt, girly?"  
  
The girl stopped her screaming and flailing and stared at Donny with a wary eye. "The  
name's ZC," she snapped. "You may have heard of me. I was the gameshow host in  
'Win Lotsa Money For Doing Stupid Things Gameshow.' I was also the main supporting  
character in Codi's 'The Forgotten Pyramid.' I have had one cameo appearance in the  
great Daroga's Rainy Daae's 'Ayesha Strikes Back,' and, I am, in fact, the author,  
Daroga's Rainy Daae."  
  
"Uh, sorrys, never heard of yous," Donny said. The girl lowered her eyes.  
  
"I created your name! My sister created you! You were the pilot in 'The Forgotten  
Pyramid!' You were my old boyfriend of merely hours! You dumped me because you  
thought I was too weird, when YOU were the circus freak who could balance the oysters!   
And you say you've NEVER HEARD OF ME!?" ZC fumed.  
  
"Uh, nos, but, uh - could you go? I'm trying to answer a questionnaire here," Donny said.  
  
"You can't answer it," ZC replied. "You're stuck on the last two questions. Only I can  
answer them."  
  
"Oh, good!" Jepp laughed. "So YOU can answer these last two questions for me!"  
  
"Then, we can both just get on with our lives," ZC muttered.  
  
"Hey! In all your other stories, you were nicer and funnier! What makes this one  
different?" Jepp shot.  
  
"Because I hate when the story doesn't revolve around me; and without a twenty three  
million dollar scheme, I'm a little grumpy, okay?" ZC grumbled. "Besides, I dislike  
having to solve everyone's problems."  
  
"Good! So yous can help me!" Jepp said happily.  
  
"Okay, what are the last two questions; make 'em quick," ZC sighed.  
  
"Um, uh... Okays! How will Jack and Anamaria get back to the past? Will the  
teenyboppers ever get home?" Jepp stared at ZC.  
  
"No wonder I was sent here," she said thoughtfully. "You guys really need my help! Let  
me see the question about Jack and Anamaria getting back to the past."  
  
Jepp handed ZC the slip of paper.  
  
**How Will Jack and Anamaria Get Back to the Past?**  
  
  
Meanwhile, in Mimi's bedroom...  
  
  
Anamaria was busy banging her head against the wall, and with every bang she shouted,  
"Stupid!" So it sounded more like: "Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" You get it.  
  
"Literally beating yourself up about this is not going to help us get back to the past," Jack  
said.  
  
"Jack, once you find a way back, I want to come with you!" Jill said.  
  
"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!-"  
  
"Look, love; your place is here," Jack said.  
  
"You don't understand," Jill replied passionately. "I never fit in among these people! I  
want to be a pirate, I want to be by your side and plunder and pilfer and whatever you all  
do!"  
  
"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!-"  
  
"It's a very dangerous business, you must understand," Jack said.  
  
"Stupid!-"  
  
"I know, I want dangerous adventure," Jill cried, getting up in Jack's face. "Take me  
with you, please!"  
  
"We may never get home," Jack said.  
  
"Stupid!-"  
  
"I'm sure you'll find a way," Jill answered seriously. Then her eyes lit up. "I know!   
There's this Chinese guru man who lives atop a mountain just a few minutes' drive from  
here! I bet he could help you and Anamaria find a way home!"  
  
"Chinese guru man? Sounds like a plan! Let's go!" Jack said, excitedly. "Anamaria!"  
  
"Stupid! Stupid!-"  
  
"Anamaria!"  
  
"Stupid!-"  
  
"HEY, ANAMARIA!" Jack shouted at the top of his lungs. She stopped banging her  
head against the wall.  
  
"Sorry," she said sheepishly. "What is it?"  
  
"I think Jill here knows a way we can get back to the past," Jack said.  
  
"Oh! Good," Anamaria said happily. All stared with blank expressions.  
  
"All right! Here's the plan - we sneak past my parents, steal the car keys, and drive to  
Chinese Guru Mountain, savvy?" Jill said.  
  
"Savvy?" Jack asked, exasperated. Jill shrugged.  
  
"I was trying to use pirate lingo!" she said defensively.  
  
"Okay, let's go," Anamaria interrupted, shoving Jill into the hall. Jack followed. As they  
were shuffling down the stairs, the threesome could hear Jill and Mimi's parents laughing  
in the living room with the TV on full blast.  
  
"What is that god-awful noise?" Jack asked.  
  
"Shh!" Jill snapped. "It's a modern technological device; no biggie. Let's go!"  
  
"This is the weirdest thing I have ever done; seriously; I only wonder how those three  
stupid girls are doing out in the middle of the ocean in a rowboat," Jack grumbled.  
  
"Three? - Are you trying to tell me that you sent my sister and her friends off in a  
rowboat!?" Jill whispered loudly, trying to keep her voice under control.  
  
"Well, uh - yes?" Jack answered warily.  
  
"That's great!" Jill said cheerily.  
  
"Actually, I let them back on the ship," Anamaria said, shoving between Jack and Jill.  
  
"Darn!" Jill said, snapping her fingers.  
  
"I'm sure that's worse now that we're gone," Jack assured her. "I only wonder what  
those girls are going through right now..."  
  
  
Meanwhile, in the Caribbean...  
  
  
"-And to get a more dirty, evil look, all you have to do is apply this liquid gold on your  
face, evenly, every morning after your shower; or what you may want is to only shower  
every few days, and maybe some dark red highlights would do the trick in your hair...   
And might I suggest mascara? Midnight Ash has always worked for the average movie  
villain's look if you want that classic style, but it's all up to you."  
  
Mimi had been instructing the pirates on makeup technique after Tiffany had gotten them  
under control. Now, she was on deck with all pirates sitting down and listening  
attentively.  
  
"Yes, and just a tint of charcoal, although it's Jack's look, could be of use under the eyes.   
If you do not wish to dare such a copy-cat feat, I suggest over-eye charcoal, or all  
around," Jessica added. "Any questions?" Several hands went up.  
  
"What if you want to impress the ladies?" one said.  
  
"If you would like a rugged, but more intimate look, you should really go with the liquid  
gold, and always remember to brush your teeth. Lose five pounds, and squint your eyes a  
lot when wearing mascara. The ladies will be all over you," Jessica said simply.  
  
"Where do we find all this maklup?" another asked.  
  
"It's makeup, hon', and it's all-natural. Of course you have charcoal, and liquid gold can  
be made with water, starch, and pyrite. Red dye you could probably buy cheap at any of  
the local clothes color warehouses," Tiffany said.  
  
"And we'll be giving free pirate makeovers to anyone interested after the presentation,"  
Mimi said. All pirates cheered.  
  
"Then we can feast!" a pirate suggested. All pirates cheered.  
  
"With the girly's in the nude!" another shouted. All pirates cheered.  
  
"Hey, hey!" Tiffany shot. "You can't afford our service. Better be clothed." All pirates  
booed.  
  
"As the new co-captain," Mimi added, "You must follow our orders or walk the plank!   
Now cheer!"  
  
"Yeah! Or face my mind powers," Tiffany said dangerously. All pirates cheered  
enthusiastically.  
  
  
Meanwhile, in the Bermuda Triangle...  
  
  
"You done with dat question yet?" Donny asked, peeping over the paper that ZC was  
scribbling on.  
  
"I'm working on it, I'm working on it," she snapped, covering the paper with a hand.   
"And no looking, not until I'm done."  
  
"When will yous be done?" Jepp asked curiously.  
  
"Darn! Ran out of paper!" ZC squealed. "Can someone get me more paper?"  
  
ZC has run out of paper! As I have run out of chapter! Next time, the still two remaining  
questions may be answered! Perhaps...!  
  
  
  
  
A/N: As always, please review as you have already read! Like it? Hate it? Tell me!   
ENJOY! :D :D :D :D 


	8. The Chinese Guru Frenchman

A/N: Thank you all for the wait for the next chappie... School starting back up and all, I  
got a little sidetracked with crap. Anywho, I'm back; hope you enjoy! Oh yeah, and read  
"That's My Boy!" My new humor/action/adventure PotC story! Blatant advertisement, I  
know. :D  
  
Thanks all to my lovely seventh chapter reviewers: **babydoll**, **Raven185**, **Marie the Black  
Rose**, **aznkitty11**, **TPP**, **Undomiel Malfoy**, and **SS/Destiny Daae**! Thanks peeps! Luv ya!  
  
  
**Teenyboppers of the Like, Caribbean  
  
Chapter VIII**  
  
  
"I've got your paper, Mademoiselle C."  
  
"Just ZC, thanks," ZC said, snatching the paper impatiently from the butlers grasp. She  
stared at him for a moment.  
  
"May I ask why you stare, Mademo- er - ZC?" the waiter asked politely.  
  
"I never gave you a name, did I?" she said.  
  
"Why, no, you didn't," the waiter replied.  
  
"You're Jeeves, then," ZC decided.  
  
"Can't you come up with anything more creative?" the waiter asked, frowning.  
  
"All right, then you're... Oswald."  
  
"Better," Oswald said.  
  
"Thank you. You may go." ZC waved away Oswald while she situated herself in Donny  
Jepp's lawn chair.  
  
"Are yous ready to write again, yet?" Donny asked hopefully.  
  
"Yep!" ZC said, giggling with glee. "Boy, I love writing!"  
  
"I's be knowing dat," Jepp said knowingly.  
  
"All right; same question as before!"  
  
**How Will Jack and Anamaria Get Back to the Past?**  
  
  
Meanwhile, at Chinese Guru Mountain...  
  
  
"All right, well, thank you, Jack, for not telling us you didn't know how to drive," Jill  
muttered, stepping out of the car, voice hoarse from recent screaming. To make a long  
story short, Jack plus car equals bad. Let's just say he took a little joy ride that might  
have killed them all.  
  
"That was one of the most thrilling things I have ever done!" Jack said, closing the front  
car door behind him, breathtaken. Anamaria stumbled out of the front side door and  
threw herself on the ground.  
  
"I think I'm going to hurl," she groaned.  
  
"A car makes you sick... But a ship doesn't?" Jill wondered aloud, raising an eyebrow.   
Anamaria shrugged.  
  
"This is Chinese Guru Mountain?" Jack asked skeptically, staring up at the peak with Zen  
gardens all up the path. "I say we drive for a few more blocks."   
  
Anamaria grabbed his foot. "Oh no you don't!" she gasped.  
  
"I'm just kidding, love," Jack said. "But I would like to bring one of these car-things  
home with me."  
  
The threesome stared in awe as the full moon rose behind the mountain, making it look  
all the more majestic in its Chinese Guru coolness.  
  
"Okay, let's get going," Anamaria said quickly, picking herself up off the ground. "The  
sooner we get back to that ship, the better."  
  
"HALT!" a voice boomed behind the three of them. The group, who had been making  
their way hastily up the path, stopped dead in their tracks. They turned around all  
synchronized and threesome-like. There, standing next to the car where he wasn't before,  
was a sleazy-looking Frenchman, complete with greasy curling mustache and suspenders.  
  
"Yes?" Jack asked cautiously.  
  
"You have to pay the toll," the man said sleazily.  
  
"What toll?" Jill asked.  
  
"Hey, you think this mountain pays for itself? You think the Zen gardens just magically  
appeared here one day just because the Chinese Guru Man is all Chinese and Guru and  
magic like that? I don't think so," the Frenchman shot. "Don't have any money, you can  
fuhggedabout walking up there to see the Chinese Guru Man."  
  
"Anybody have any money?" Jill grumbled, searching her pockets.  
  
"Nothing here," Anamaria said.  
  
"Nope," Jack agreed, his pockets jingling with gold.  
  
"The fee is fifteen-"  
  
"I have a twenty," Jill interrupted the man, happily withdrawing the crumpled money  
from down her blouse.  
  
"-and five dollars," he finished.  
  
"Hey!" Jill protested. The man shrugged.  
  
"It's business," he said sleazily. Jill handed him the dough.  
  
The Frenchman sighed and retrieved a gong from inside his trousers. "The Guru Man is  
proud to be of service," he said, sounding rehearsed. "And now, you will be brought to  
him." He dinged the gong and disappeared in a puff of smoke.  
  
"What was that?" Anamaria asked. Before anything else could happen, the threesome  
were transported in a puff of smoke to the top of Guru Mountain where the Temple of  
Guru was.  
  
Jill peered around the temple, with it's grand pillars, golden statues and high ceilings.  
  
"Welcome."  
  
Jack, Jill and Anamaria stared at a man in the center of the room on an elevated platform,  
dressed in Chinese robes and sitting in a very meditative way.  
  
"You have come here to seek my help," the Chinese Guru Man said. Jack, Jill, and  
Anamaria blinked at him.  
  
"Hey... You're not Chinese!" Jack said. Indeed! It was the sleazy Frenchman.  
  
"My best friend is," the Frenchman shot. "Besides, I am the magic one; who cares what  
race I am? Anyway! You seek my help."  
  
"How did you know?" Anamaria asked, impressed.  
  
"That's all anyone does these days," the guy muttered. "Off subject. You wish to go  
back to the past."  
  
"How did you know THAT?" Jill asked.  
  
"I'm magic, fool!" the man shouted, but quickly gained his composure back. "I can help  
you, though."  
  
"Great!" Jack cheered.  
  
"But it will cost you more," the Frenchman said, lifting a finger.  
  
"I don't have any more money," Jill replied, lowly.  
  
"Too bad," the Frenchman said. "Guess you're not going to the past."  
  
"How much is it?" Jill sighed.  
  
"One hundred-"  
  
"One hundred!" Jill spluttered.  
  
"-a piece."  
  
"A piece!" Jill spluttered again.  
  
"Now, now, let's no go being Cotton's parrot, aye? All's fair. I'll pay for it," Jack said  
nobly.  
  
"Jack - that's wonderful of you!" Jill burst.  
  
"Yes, it is," Anamaria said suspiciously.  
  
"I don't know how much currency is these days, but I'm sure this can hold you off," Jack  
said, grabbing handfuls of gold from his pockets and dumping them into the Guru Man's  
lap.  
  
"It's a deal!" the Frenchman said happily. "Okay, now alls you got to do is this; clap  
three times, twist around like a ballerina once, and shout, 'I am the wheat-eating rabbit  
king!' and you'll be transported back to your ship in the Caribbean of your time." All  
blinked again.  
  
"I'm getting tired of this blinking thing," Jill grumbled.  
  
"I will not do any of those things," Jack protested.  
  
"You must to get home, is all I'm saying," the Frenchman said.  
  
Anamaria was the eager lucky number one to go. She clapped three times, twisted like a  
ballerina, very gracefully I might add, and shouted clearly, "I am the wheat-eating rabbit  
king!"  
  
Nothing happened.  
  
"Ha!" the Guru Man laughed. "Gets them every time!"  
  
"Why, you-" Anamaria almost socked the guy in the face, but he threw up his hands in  
surrender.  
  
"Whoa, whoa," he said. "If you knock me out now, you'll never discover the true way to  
get home."  
  
"Restrain yourself, love," Jack added.  
  
"You're just happy that you didn't have to do that," Anamaria muttered. Jack beamed.  
  
"Okay, you really just have to kiss my kitten," the man said.  
  
"Kiss your... kitten?" Jack asked, warily. The Guru Man withdrew a cute little gray  
striped kitten from under his pillow. It gave a soft meow.  
  
"Awww!" Jill melted. "I'll do it!" She bent down and kissed the Frenchman's kitten on  
the nose. She instantly disappeared. Anamaria went next. Only Jack was left, stalling.  
  
"Oh, all right," he finally said. "At least nobody will know the famous Captain Jack  
Sparrow kissed a cute little kitten... Besides, I think they're cute." He grinned sheepishly  
and kissed the kitten. He disappeared as well.  
  
"Heheh," the Guru Man smiled to himself. "All in a days work." He gave a heavy,  
content sigh at all the money he had just earned, and looked up to find that all the heads  
of his gold statues were missing. "Figures!" he shrieked, tearing off his fake mustache.  
  
  
Meanwhile, in the Bermuda Triangle...  
  
  
"Done!" ZC yelped happily, throwing her pen and paper down.  
  
"With the whole thing?" Donny asked excitedly.  
  
"No, only with that Jack/Anamaria question," she replied, flipping her right hand around.   
"Man, I hate writing longhand!"  
  
"Buts you're still goings to answer that last question," Donny said hopefully.  
  
"Of course! I haven't felt this good in minutes!" ZC harumphed, slapping Donny on the  
back.  
  
"Hey, uh, ZC?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"What does the C in ZC stand for?"  
  
ZC opened her eyes wide in horror. "How did you know that I never like telling the C in  
ZC!?" she demanded.  
  
"Ummm..." Donny thought.  
  
"Well, I'm not telling you!" she snapped. "But I can tell you that the Z stands for Zesty."  
  
"So your first name is Zesty?" Jepp laughed. "Who named you?"  
  
ZC glared at him.  
  
"I's be shutting up now."  
  
Indeed! Donny Jepp has shut up! So this is where our eighth chapter must end! Thank  
you, and good morning!  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: Good? Like it? Woohoo! Next chappie will be up soon! Thanks for reading! :D  
:D :D :D :D


	9. The CoCaptains of the Black Pearl

A/N: Thank you chapter eight reviewers: **Rachel the Insane Unicorn**, **remnants-2011**,**  
****The Phantom Parisienne**, **Marie the Black Rose**, and **Raven185**.  
  
  
**Shea Pierce**: That chapter is here - hope you like this one bettah.  
  
  
**Teenyboppers of the Like, Caribbean  
  
Chapter IX  
**  
  
There was a huge "boom!" and a flash of light as Anamaria, Jack and Jill appeared among the   
pirates on the Black Pearl. Many were thrown back for effect. All stared in silence and awe.  
  
The pirates stared with embarrassment and guilt at their captain, for the majority of them  
had liquid gold on their faces, and many of their nails were buffered. The midget had had  
his head waxed.  
  
"Mimi!" Jill cried, pointing out the teenybopper among the group of men. "What did you  
DO to them?"  
  
"Hi, Jill," Mimi said waving. She then stared to Jack and Anamaria. "Jill can stay. But  
you two can't."  
  
"What!?" Jack asked, flabbergasted.  
  
"I'm sorry." Mimi shrugged and sighed. "As a part of our new code, all members of the  
pirate crew must be compliant to our rules, and I don't really think you two would be."  
  
"What is she talking about, Captain?" Anamaria muttered under her breath to Jack. Jack  
blinked.  
  
"Excuse me, love; this is MY ship. And if you don't mind, I'LL be making the rules  
around here, savvy?" Jack said.  
  
"Yes, well, while you were gone we made a few adjustments," Tiffany said, stepping up.  
  
"I can see that," Jack said, monotone.  
  
"And we have taken over the ship," Jessica added.  
  
"You can't do that!" Jack sniggered. "You're nothing but a bunch of-"  
  
"-I can read minds," Tiffany interrupted dangerously; like the kid in the Sixth Sense  
saying 'I can see dead people.' Same concept.  
  
"So now WE have control of the crew, and this is OUR ship," Jessica finished. Mimi,  
Jessica and Tiffany giggled amongst themselves.  
  
"What has gotten into you guys?" Jill shot, striding up to the girls from next to Anamaria  
and Jack. "Why aren't you planning mall trips and saying 'like' after every other word,  
or at least painting the pirates' toenails?"  
  
"We've seen the light," Tiffany said with a wave of her hand. "As the new co-captain of  
the Black Pearl, we have seen it as our duty to keep order and style among the people of  
this ship, and besides; there aren't any malls in this time."  
  
"And... That doesn't bother you?" Jill asked, astounded.  
  
"Of course not, we're all past the stuff we used to be into," Mimi retorted.  
  
"Then what if I do - THIS!" Jill shouted, whipping out from her jacket a glossy picture of  
Ben Affleck.  
  
"Noooooo!" Mimi squealed, grabbing her head with both hands as if she had just  
experienced a terrible migraine. "It's all coming back..." she whispered shakily.  
  
"Oh, God, Mimi, no!" Tiffany shouted, covering Mimi's eyes. "Don't look!"  
  
"I can't believe I'm witnessing this," Jack muttered to Anamaria.  
  
"I see him too!" Jessica shrieked. Her eyes took on their former pep and suddenly, her  
hair became silky and flowy. Her lipstick glistened in the sunlight. "I like want to grab a  
hunk of Ben Affleck in Miami at the mall looking at clothes from like Abercrombie and  
Fitch and then go to the gym while watching my like weight and eating fruits and cereal  
bars then go to like the school and practice my cheerleading because I'm like head of the  
like squad and I think guys are so hot like Heath Ledger, Leonardo DiCaprio, Toby  
Maguire, Orlando Bloom, and Johnny Depp not to like mention I need a manicure and  
must go do my hair at my stylist and my tan is fading so I like have to go sit at the  
swimming pool while checking out hot guys and reading pink magazines with Vin Diesel  
on the front of them!" She gasped and collapsed on the floor, crying madly.  
  
"We lost her!" Tiffany cried. "We lost Jessica!"  
  
"I want a like manicure and do my hair so I can look good for my like boyfriend while  
I'm cheerleading!" Mimi sobbed hysterically, joining Jessica on the floor. "Hon'!" she  
added.  
  
"But! But!" Tiffany whipped around at the blinking, befuddled pirates. "No!" She ran  
up to one and shouted, "You need to - PAINT - your - TOENAILS - and we have to  
rename the ship the - PINK! - Pearl! Nooooo!!!" She stumbled about and finally grabbed  
onto Jack for support. "And - and you're - SEXY HOT!" She collapsed at his feet and  
began to sob along with the other teenyboppers.  
  
"Now, now," Jack assured Tiffany, blinking still. "Everything's going to be okay; we can  
get you back to your time."  
  
"Really?" Tiffany asked, looking up at Jack with teary eyes. "Because my mascara is  
like, running."  
  
"If you give up your position as captain of the Black Pearl-"  
  
"Co-captain," Mimi sniffed.  
  
"If you ALL give up your positions as co-captains of the Black Pearl," Jack revised,  
"Then I will see what I can do about you getting back home."  
  
"Thank you, thank you, like, thank you!" Jessica squealed happily, picking herself up off  
the deck. Mimi and Tiffany followed suit and they all hugged and sniffed a few times  
more.  
  
"So how do we get back?" Mimi asked.  
  
"Yes, I would like to know, too," Jill muttered skeptically.  
  
"Well, I said I'd see what I could do," Jack grumbled. "I didn't say I actually KNEW a  
way to get from here to the future." He stared at Anamaria.  
  
All stared at Anamaria.  
  
"Um." She coughed. "Hi." She proceeded to bolt for the side of the ship to jump  
overboard, but Jack stopped her.  
  
"Wait, love," Jack said. "Although this is your fault, I'm not mad at you."  
  
"Dreamboat Jack Sparrow!" Tiffany giggled to Mimi and Jessica. "I like want him!"  
  
"Well, maybe a little bit," he added truthfully. "But if there are any details you're leaving  
out about anything we could find useful to those girls getting back to the future, please  
tell us."  
  
"Actually," Anamaria said, thoughtfully, "That guy I hired; Donny Jepp? He may know a way back."  
  
"You hired a guy named Donny Jepp?" Jill asked, disbelieving.  
  
"Well, yes," Anamaria said. "An old boyfriend. Long story. Anyway; HE knows how to get   
the girls back to the future.  
  
  
Meanwhile, in the Bermuda Triangle...  
  
  
"I do?" Donny asked, astonished.  
  
"Shut up!" ZC shot, taking her paper out of view from Donny.  
  
  
Meanwhile, back in the Caribbean...  
  
  
"He does?" Jack asked.  
  
"He like, does?" Mimi asked as well.  
  
"Yes, now shut up!" Anamaria shouted, frustrated. "All we have to do is take this ship to  
Bermuda."  
  
"But... why?" Jessica asked, raising her perfectly waxed eyebrows.  
  
"Because that's where the Bermuda Triangle is," Anamaria replied.  
  
"Duh," Mimi giggled. "Everyone knows that."  
  
"Well, what are we waiting for!?" Jack said, fed up. "Let's get this bucket to Bermuda,  
savvy!"  
  
"Savvy," Jill purred.  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: End of chappie nine! Please review! :D :D :D


	10. Land Ho!

A/N: Hi! Sorry for not updating sooner, peeps, but I got grounded... short and stupid  
story. Not gonna tell it. Anyway. Thanks for waiting for chappie ten and sticking  
around! :D :D :D :D  
  
**  
Teenyboppers of the Like, Caribbean  
  
Chapter X  
**  
  
"Um, like excuse me, Jack," Tiffany piped up from behind him, "but how do you know  
where we're going?" Jack eyed Tiffany and closed his compass.  
  
"Trust me, I know," he replied.  
  
"But your compass doesn't even look right... Is it like a sundial? Do you have clocks in  
these days?" Tiffany asked.  
  
"Of course, now shut up, I'm trying to steer here," Jack snapped.  
  
"So it IS like a sundial?" she said warily.  
  
"No, we have clocks these days! Now quit bugging me!"  
  
"How does your compass work?"  
  
"It's a secret."  
  
"Ooh! It's a SECRET!" Tiffany squealed anxiously, eyes alight. "Tell me, tell me, tell  
me! Is it a magic compass?"  
  
"No!"  
  
"No, you won't tell me, or no, it's not like magic?" Tiffany asked.  
  
"Will you shut your trap, you stupid-"  
  
"LAND HO!" Jill shouted from the top of the crow's nest, interrupting Jack. All squinted  
ahead of them to see an island in the distance.  
  
"Aha! What did I tell you?" Jack said proudly, nodding towards the land mass.  
  
"Magic! I like knew it!" Tiffany said, bouncing off and leaving Jack to his steering.  
  
"If that's Bermuda, then aren't we already in the Bermuda Triangle?" Jill shouted to Jack  
from her post.  
  
"How should I know? I've never even heard of the Bermuda Triangle," Jack shouted  
back up.  
  
"What?" Jill asked, leaning out of the little basket.  
  
"I said-" Jack shouted back up again, "-that I've never even heard of the Bermuda  
Triangle!"  
  
"WHAT!?" Jill leaned further out.  
  
"I SAID I'VE NEVER EVEN HEARD-" Jack started, but was abruptly cut off by Jill's  
screaming when she toppled out of the crow's nest.  
  
"AHHHHH!" she shrieked. She had about five seconds to yell in panic, "HELP ME  
HELP ME AH HELP ME I'M GONNA DIE I'M GONNA DIE, GOODBYE CRUEL  
WORLD, I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE HELP HELP HELP!" Of course all these words  
were just one big jumbled mess intertwined with her "Ah's" and such, when Jack, with  
his pirate reflexes and swift precision, caught Jill an inch from her was-to-be death  
ground.  
  
Jill squee-ed and clung to Jack's neck while enjoying being in his arms way too much. "I  
love you, you are my love, you are my hero!" Jill cried, snuggling into him.  
  
"Ouch!" Jack said suddenly, and dropped Jill.  
  
"Hey!" she protested, flopping on the ground. "What was that for?"  
  
"This," he answered, revealing from within his jacket a golden statue head. "It was  
digging into my side when I caught you."  
  
"What is THAT?" Jill asked, blinking.  
  
"Something I picked up from your time," he said with a wave of his hand, tucking it back  
into his jacket.  
  
"How do you do that?" Jill asked, curiously studying Jack up and down. "It didn't even  
look like there was anything in that jacket of yours! What all do you HAVE in it?"  
  
"I've got a baseball!" Jack said cheerily.  
  
  
Meanwhile, in the Bermuda Triangle...  
  
  
"Hey!" Donny Jepp said, snatching the paper from ZC. "Dat was just about da cheapest  
"Day in a Room" reference I ever seen!"  
  
"I have to make references to previous stories!" ZC shot. "It's great advertisement!   
Watch this: Read the "Day in a Room" series by DRD! Right now! See? Now people  
will be all interested and READ it because they have NO IDEA where that baseball  
remark is made in it!"  
  
"Will not!"  
  
"Will too!"  
  
"Will not!"  
  
"Will too!"  
  
"Will not!"  
  
  
Meanwhile, back in the Caribbean...  
  
  
"Ooh, goody! Let's play catch!" Jill suggested. Jack and Jill began to toss the baseball  
back and forth.  
  
"Oy, Jack!" Gibbs called, running up to him. The game was immediately over with.  
  
"Aye?"  
  
"I heard-" Gibbs leaned closer and shifted his eyes about. "I heard you have some...  
problems... So if you ever need any help or advice, you can talk to me, all righty?"  
  
"What are you talking about?" Jack asked.  
  
"You know, the..." Gibbs flicked his fingers a couple of times, stuffed an imaginary  
object into his pants, winked and nodded.  
  
"WHAT."  
  
"If you're embarrassed, it's okay," Gibbs whispered. "You may not know this, but it's  
common. Just live with it, it will go away soon enough."  
  
"What is he talking about?" Jack asked Jill, exasperated. Jill shrugged.  
  
"Like, rumors spread a long way!" Mimi squealed with Jessica and Tiffany, running by.  
  
Jack scowled and told Gibbs to get lost, and the man stalked off, not before winking and  
nodding again.  
  
"OH MY GOD, LOOK!" Jill shouted, pointing out to sea. Right between Bermuda and  
where the Black Pearl was, was a whirlpool, but on it's side so that it looked like that  
Austin Powers time portal thingy, but made of water.  
  
"I think we have to go through that," Jack said bravely.  
  
"Bring it on," Jill crowed. Too bad the crew wasn't so brave about it.  
  
"We're all gonna die!" some of them were shouting, running around in circles in panic.  
  
"The undiminished time continuum has been subverted and has no longer a facade  
imperceptible to the naked optic receiver!" the midget cried.   
  
All stopped their panicking and blinked.  
  
"We're all gonna die?" the midget said.  
  
"We're all gonna die!" the others responded, running around the ship again.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: There you have it! Chapter ten! Thanks for reading! :D :D :D :D :D :D


	11. The Vortex

A/N: Hey peeps! Sorry for the long wait, but school is so demanding... Anyway, hope ya  
don't mind - and here's chapter... eleven! Wow... Eleven chappies... hmmm... :D  
  
  
**Teenyboppers of the Like, Caribbean  
  
Chapter XI  
**  
  
Suddenly, the Black Pearl was sucked into the swirling vortex, which majorly resembled  
a hurricane, which it was, just on it's side. And this is where all time didn't matter at all,  
and everything became very confusing.  
  
"Well howdy do and my leather shoes!" a cowboy hooted, falling onto the deck of the  
ship from amongst the storm of time. He got up, brushed himself off, and swung his hat  
around.  
  
"What is this!?" Jack roared over the sound of the wind and rain. His outfit then felt fit to  
go ahead and change into footy-pajamas. Jack stumbled about and shouted random  
curses.  
  
"The hurricane is mixing up time!" Jill shouted to anyone who would listen to her.   
"Once we pass through, we'll probably be in the Bermuda Triangle! As soon as we-"   
Her mouth was spontaneously filled with hot fudge. "Mmmmh!" she stated with delight.  
  
A post-it note with arms and legs danced around Mimi's head.  
  
"Aieek!" Mimi squealed, batting at it.  
  
"Hello my honey, hello my neighbor-" the post-it sang.  
  
The cowboy began to slap his knee in time with the singing post-it note.  
  
"Ahhhhhh!!!" someone from within the time continuum yelled, thrown into a heap to the  
Black pearl. He was famous. Known all over the world. It - was -   
  
"Ew, it's RADCLIFFE," Jessica grunted, staring Daniel Radcliffe up and down. The boy  
blinked.  
  
"Bye, Radcliffe," Tiffany muttered, tossing him over the side of the ship.  
  
"My virgin eyes!" Jill shrieked, running past with her hands over her face because right  
behind her was a naked belly-dancing male.  
  
"Help," Jack said, muffled, as he was being eaten by a bed.  
  
"Ironic," Jill said, momentarily forgetting about the naked man and blinking at Jack.  
  
"Ah!" Anamaria shrieked, as she was being confronted by a reasonable swarm of June  
bugs.  
  
"Scree ah ah?" a June bugs asked.  
  
"Scree," another replied in compromise.  
  
"You're messed up!" Anamaria shouted back at them, running away to hide below deck,  
where she came face to face with Santa Claus.  
  
"Shake my hand," Santa laughed.  
  
"Never!" Anamaria screamed, bolting down the stairs.  
  
"Spider-Man! Spider-Man! Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man!" the superhero  
howled, swinging from a cord of web that was attached to the main mast. The web burst  
into flames, and Spider-Man fell a considerable distance before hitting the ground with a  
splat and stopped moving.  
  
Mimi ran as fast as she could and jumped over Spidey, closely pursued by a cheetah in  
drag.  
  
"Aaaaaaarrrrrgh!" Tiffany yelped, running straight into Mimi from the opposite direction,  
who was also being pursued, but by a substitute algebra teacher with rotten breath.  
  
Gibbs was suddenly drenched in a vanilla pudding desert.  
  
"This is the life," he sighed, licking his finger. The other pirates didn't think so; Cotton's  
parrot, for example, had just signed a defense pact with Canada, which then became a cup  
of Canada Dry, which then became a two liter bottle of Cherry Pepsi. It fizzed. Cotton's  
parrot chuckled.  
  
"We're approaching the end of the vortex!" Jill shouted excitedly, pointing to a sunny  
spot in the distance and kicking a mound of mashed potatoes out of her way.  
  
"Damn it all!" Jessica grumbled from the cowboy's lap. "Does that like mean that he's  
going to disappear?"  
  
"I have no idea," Jill muttered, rolling her eyes.  
  
"I left my girl on my horse with my dog in the middle of the desert on one hot day next to  
a cactus near a ranch in Texas," the cowboy sung sweetly.  
  
"That's so sexy..." Jessica murmured.  
  
"Lead us! Lead us! Lead us! Lead us!" a group of gingerbread men chanted, bowing  
down to Jack.  
  
"Gingerbread men of old, we unite!" Jack cried with passion.  
  
"Jack?" Gibbs asked from afar.  
  
"Sorry," Jack said sheepishly. "Got a little carried away." And with that, he shooed away  
the little cookie people.  
  
  
Meanwhile, in the Bermuda Triangle...  
  
  
"You be seein' dat over there?" Donny asked, pointing to a swirling mass in the distance.  
  
"Of course," ZC grumbled, continuing to write furiously. "I made that."  
  
"Yous did?"  
  
"Yes, now just wait! The Black Pearl is coming!"  
  
"If yous are trying to sound mysterious and alla dat, it ain't working," Donny grumbled.  
  
"Do you want me to finish this story or not!?" ZC shot. Donny threw up his hands.  
  
"Continue," he said.  
  
"I don't think I will."  
  
"But-"  
  
"I think I'll stop."  
  
"But-"  
  
"I'm not going to write any more to this chapter."  
  
"But-"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: Hehe! Please review! I know it's very weird and kinda short, but what can I say,  
it's... 10:30 at night... and I'm happy there's no school tomorry. Thanks for reading! :D  
:D :D :D


	12. Crashing and People Screaming

A/N: Sorry I haven't written in months! LOL - completely sidetracked all the time, many   
a buddy to go do crap with! And. Uh. Stuff. I will hold off no longer - here y'are!  
  
  
**Teenyboppers of the Like, Caribbean  
  
Chapter XII**  
  
  
The butler of the Bermuda Triangle who we have come to call Oswald, was peacefully   
dozing in the heat of the sun on a secluded corner of the east Bermuda Triangle bank,   
when all of a sudden, his sun was blocked. Of course, the sudden change of atmosphere   
awoke him, but he didn't open his eyes all the same.  
  
"Leave tips in the lobby on the counter, please," he muttered under his breath. When   
the creator of the shadow didn't answer, Oswald continued. "Are you troubled?" he   
sighed. "In need of a glass of water, perhaps?" He cracked open his right eye, saw   
what was making the shadow, rubbed his eyes, opened both of them, opened both of   
them wider, then screamed in a magnificently bloodcurdling way, sounding much like Meg   
in the Original London Cast of Phantom of the Opera.  
  
Headed straight towards Oswald was the Black Pearl, swirling out of control and making   
huge tidal waves in the process. The butler had just been engulfed in one of these massive   
waves and soon began to splutter around in panic, screaming as he did so.  
  
Meanwhile, the people on the Black Pearl were acting generally the same.  
  
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Mimi shouted at the top of her lungs, tearing   
out strands of her hair at a time.  
  
"We're all going to die! DIE, I TELL YOU!" Gibbs shrieked, leaping overboard.  
  
"Steer! Steer!" Anamaria yelled, jumping about behind Jack, who, with all his might, was   
trying to steer the boat into control, but alas, the blast from the end of the swirling vortex   
of terror had knocked the ship so awry that there was no hope in straightening it out   
before crashing into the island.  
  
Also meanwhile, Donny and ZC finally realized what was happening…  
  
"Hey," Donny tapped ZC on the shoulder.  
  
"Yeah?" ZC asked.  
  
"I'nt dat Oswald?"  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Da butler, look." Jepp pointed to the other side of the island. ZC turned and squinted.  
  
"You mean that spluttering dude who looks like he's praying at the end of his life while a   
ship is headed straight for him? Yeah, that's him."  
  
The gulls cawed.  
  
"AHHHHHHHH!" ZC shouted in terror, jumping five feet into the air from her seat.   
"What's the ship doing?! What's Oswald doing there?!"  
  
"Didn't yous write it?" Donny asked.  
  
"No! The Bermuda Triangle must have been working on it's own! I have no control   
now! This sucks!" ZC growled, storming around and kicking up the sand.  
  
"Aren't yous going to dos anything aboudit?" Donny asked.  
  
"Ugh. Let's go save him," ZC muttered, grabbing Jepp by the collar and dragging him   
down the beach.  
  
Meanwhile, on the Black Pearl…  
  
"AH!" Jack shouted as he was thrown down by the wheel.  
  
"AHHHH!" Jill cried, falling into the main mast.  
  
"AIEEEEE!" the other girls squealed, dialing numbers frantically on their cell phones,   
which didn't work.  
  
"AHHH!" the pirates yelped, being tossed all over the place by the crazy ship.  
  
"BUTLER!" the midget yelled.  
  
"No, you're supposed to say 'Ah'… Get it right next time," Tiffany said.  
  
"No, look! We're going to crash into him!" the midget shouted, pointing.  
  
"No we're not! Look!" Jessica pointed, too, but behind the butler. The others looked,   
and saw a short and spunky girl and a guy who looked suspiciously like Johnny Depp   
hurrying to save Oswald.  
  
"The butler may still have a chance!" Mimi said.  
  
Suddenly, the short and spunky girl got her foot caught on the branch of a fallen tree   
and tripped and fell to the ground, disappearing from sight.  
  
"Maybe not," Jill muttered, rubbing her head and glancing accusingly up at the mast.   
It stared back down to her in guilt.  
  
"BAM!" Donny Jepp shouted, leaping over a hill, grabbing up Oswald heroically and…   
misbalancing and falling backwards. "Nows we scream," he said knowingly to Oswald.  
  
"Ahhhh!" Oswald and Jepp screamed, clutching each other in sheer terror.  
  
"Ahhhh!" everyone on the Pearl shrieked, the teenyboppers and Anamaria being   
pitched overboard.  
  
WHAM! WHOOMPH! SPLASH! BOOM!  
  
Everything went silent, even the gulls who were watching the scene in anticipation.   
Jepp and Oswald had their eyes squeezed shut, but feeling still alive, they both   
fearfully opened them. Nearly three inches away from the tops of their heads was   
the hull of the ship, which was curved in such a convenient way that when it hit the   
mountain, it left a space of about six feet between the bottom of the mountain and   
the bottom of the boat.  
  
Oswald fainted.  
  
"We live!" Jepp cheered, crawling out of the mess.  
  
"My nails!" Mimi shrieked, stumbling up to shore and collapsing on the wet sand. She   
searched her pockets and took out her cell phone, which, when opened, dumped onto   
her lap a great amount of water.  
  
"This is terrible! I have never been so miserable in my life!" Jessica shrieked, stumbling   
and falling as Mimi had. "I can't believe my bad luck! Everything is going wrong, I want   
to go home, I want my cowb-"  
  
Suddenly, the cowboy from the last chapter fell into her lap.  
  
"I'm happy," she said, shrugging.  
  
"Come…. Josephine…. In your….. Flying machine……" Tiffany was singing hoarsely from   
atop a plank on her back, drifting to shore, in much the way that Rose did in Titanic,   
besides the drifting to shore part.  
  
"Ouch, ow, ow!" Anamaria yipped, tearing crabs off of her and swimming up behind   
Tiffany. "Ouch!" she cried, touching her toes to the bottom of the lagoon and beginning   
to walk.  
  
"Well I hope you all enjoyed that," ZC grumbled after she spat out a mouthful of   
sand. "Because I didn't."  
  
"WOOHOO!" Jack crowed, leaping off the ship onto the sand. "That was great!" He   
peered happily around the island full of glum and exhausted people. "What? What's   
wrong?"  
  
"We just went flying over the side of a ship, crashed into an island and have now   
washed up to shore," Tiffany growled on the verge of screaming.  
  
"Can't complain!" Jessica piped up, merrily.  
  
"Shut up, Jessica!" Mimi cried. "That was the worst thing I have ever experienced!"  
  
Jill, who, on being thrown overboard, had been pitched into her own individual swirling   
vortex of terror, was just returning from spending four years saving the alternate   
fourth dimension world of Egyptian people from destruction by the aliens that enslaved   
them. Only minutes had gone by in our world. She wore an Egyptian dress, her hair   
was dyed black, and she looked as if she had been in constant battle.  
  
"Omigod, Jill!" Mimi cried to her sister, breathless. "Your skin is like - so tan!"  
  
"Yes, it is," Jill muttered. Everyone else dismissed Jill's odd sudden change in   
appearance, and from that day forward she told nobody of her secret past, not even   
on her deathbed.  
  
"Ah, that was a nice swim," Gibbs said, jogging up to shore and shaking his wet hair   
like a dog.  
  
"Speak for yourself," Anamaria grumbled, picking the last of the crabs from her shirt.  
  
"All right, we're all hunky dory!" ZC said. "Now how do we suppose you all get back   
to your own times, seeing as the Bermuda Triangle here is timeless and all that other   
wahoody crap?"  
  
"Wa…hoody?" Jessica asked, raising an eyebrow. "What a loser."  
  
"I like it!" the cowboy said.  
  
"Me too," Jessica purred quickly.  
  
"But-" he started.  
  
"Sh." She put her pointer finger over his mouth.  
  
"Oh, this is disgusting!" ZC muttered. "Like I don't see enough of it around my   
friends! Seriously! If you all want to get home, tell that girl to cut the mush out!"  
  
Mimi whacked Jessica upside the head.  
  
"Good. Now alls you gotta do to get back to your own times, is this-"  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: Teehee! Thanks for reading! Please review! If I get 100, I will be superbly   
happy! :D :D :D :D :D :D


	13. The End

A/N: Yay! I got 100 reviews and I was supremely happy! Thanks to all my reviewers: **  
Katterree Fengari**, **Marie the Black Rose**, **michaela**, **Raven185**, **Bubonic Woodchuck**, **  
Undomiel Malfoy**(Budday!), **Rachel the Insane Unicorn**, **Beads**, **TPP**, **  
TheSchizoFrenchFry**, **Sherlock**, **Shea Pierce**, **remnants-2011**, **SS/Destiny Daae**   
(Budday!), **aznkitty11**, **Shadow Phenix**, **babydoll**, **happychaos**, **ZombieGurl98**, **Julia   
Rose**, **Lisa**, **Pirates Life 4 me**, **Aelimir**, **SoCruel**, **yumi**, **KMK Kittens**, **El Diablo Firestarter**, **  
Drunken Mime**, **michelle**, **bebe**, **Ariel-chan**, **TolkienFan711**, **saiyan-girl-cheetah**, **  
Cindy**, **AgentStarbuck**, **Anne Parkington**, **Bellatrixx Krystynnia Keily**, **Dazzle1**, **  
Anya Midnight**, **Tamzin**, **Jehan's Muse**, **Mrs. Sparrow**, **Cheese Head**, **Yao Kafei**, **  
GotSparrow**, **Elanial**, **like its me**, and **VagrantCandy**!! Whoopdah! All righty - lucky   
chapter number thirteen!  
  
Long forgotten disclaimer: I do not own Donny Jepp; only his name. He is the property   
of my sister. Read The Forgotten Pyramid on fictionpress by **Codi**.  
  
  
**Teenyboppers of the Like, Caribbean  
  
Chapter XIII  
**  
  
"-Hey, waits a minute!" Jepp interceding, cutting ZC off.  
  
"What!?" ZC shot at him.  
  
"Anamaria clearly stated in paragraph 41, lines's one and two of chapter nine that I's   
would be knowing hows to set everything straight!" he said in a matter-of-fact tone.   
ZC blinked and rummaged through her pockets to retrieve the folded chapters and fished   
out the page Donny had been talking about.  
  
"Yeah, but - honestly! I wrote that out of confusion! I was-" ZC was interrupted by a   
sudden bolt of lightning which picked her up off the island and whisked her away.   
Everyone was joyous.  
  
"Alls right, settle down," Donny said, taking authority over the whole situation.  
  
"Tell us how to like - get home already!" Mimi shouted, storming over to Jepp and pulling   
him up by the collar. "If I have to like live one more minute on this awful island-"  
  
"-Try being stranded on one-" Jack muttered under his breath.  
  
"-I'm going to like - scream or cry or something! And - and - why did Jessica have to take   
the hot and sexy cowboy!?" Mimi finished, finally throwing herself on the ground and   
sobbing hysterically.  
  
"Some are more fortunate-looking than you, hon'," Jessica said calmly from her seat on   
the cowboy.  
  
"Bitch!" Mimi shrieked, leaping at Jessica. Jessica instantly dropped her cowboy, and   
Mimi and she were immediately consumed in a heated catfight to the death of their hair.  
  
"Well, actually," Jepp said, thoughtfully. "I don't know how yous all are going to get   
home."  
  
"Oh, I don't care anymore!" Jill said, cheerily clasping to Jack's arm.  
  
"I do!" Tiffany shot. "You mean to tell me like you have no idea how me, Jessica and Mimi   
are getting back to the future!?"  
  
"Sorrys?" Jepp shrugged. "I'll give you all 10% discount coupons for your next private   
flight, if it'll make you any happier; I'm a pilot, yous be knowi-"  
  
"I just want to get home!" Tiffany shouted. "I don't WANT - wait, did you say private   
flight?" She skipped up to Jepp, who happily gave her the little slip of paper.  
  
"Jill, darling," Jack said, scouting the surroundings. Mimi had just made a wild jab for   
Jessica's eyes, while the cowboy stood back in fear. Tiffany hung off Donny Jepp.   
"I truly believe you'd be safer joining my crew than going back with those crazy lasses."  
  
"How did you survive living with them on your ship for so long?" Jill muttered,   
sarcastically.  
  
"I am Jack Sparrow!" he guffawed, as if that explained everything, which it did.  
  
"Yeah, that's bloody lovely to know!" Oswald the butler shouted back hysterically,   
obviously recovered from his sudden, yet brief, absence from his conscious state of   
mind.  
  
"One problem, mate," Anamaria sighed. "We're not exactly in our right time either. It's   
not like we can just go back through the hurricane and expect to end up back in the   
real Caribbean."  
  
"So we need Donny Jepp after all," Jill said.  
  
"He's the only one who can put things straight?" Jack snorted.  
  
"Damn," the whole crew muttered under their breath.  
  
"But I believe we can think of something!" Jack said. "The shoes!" he shouted.  
  
"What?" Jill asked.  
  
"Mimi's shoes, which brought her here in the first place! Perhaps they work backwards   
here in the Bermuda Triangle!" Jack sprinted up to Mimi, who was yelping repeated cries   
of "ow" as Jessica was undoubtedly winning this chick fight, a firm grasp on Mimi's hair.   
"'Scuse me, love," Jack grunted, prying Mimi away from Jessica with one fell swipe.   
Mimi gave a loud shout of "Argh!" as many strands of her hair were left in Jessica's fist.  
  
"Jack, are you sure this is the best way to handle…" Jill started, but gave up, just   
watching as he flipped Mimi upside down, tore off her shoes as she gave a protesting   
squeal, and flipped her back over. She darted straight back to Jessica and leapt on her   
back, beginning to strangle her.  
  
"Here are the shoes," Jack said, tromping back over to Anamaria and Jill.  
  
"Well, click them, or something!" Jill said, impatiently. Jack clicked them. Nothing   
happened.  
  
"I think you have to be wearing them," Anamaria said, stifling a laugh.  
  
"YOU wear them!" Jack said defensively, thrusting the shoes into Anamaria's arms.  
  
"Not if you were to threaten me with my life," she said, seriously, dropping the girly   
shoes as if they were poison.  
  
"Oh, come off it, you guys!" Jill sighed. "I'll put them on!" She pulled off her Egyptian   
sandals and slid the shoes on. She clicked the shoes and stated clearly; "I wish Jack   
Sparrow, his crew, and I were transported back to the Caribbean of their time, and that   
Tiffany, Jessica, and Mimi were taken back to theirs!" Nothing happened. "I don't get   
it!" she muttered, ripping off the shoes for all they were worth and chucking them as far   
as she could.  
  
"Ouch!" Donny shouted as the shoes hit him in the head. "Hey, these be pret-ty   
styling…"  
  
"My truck's tires are small, but my heart is very large," the cowboy sang sweetly to   
Jessica, who was gasping for air on the ground beside Mimi, who had exhausted herself   
as well. Both girls lay defeated with many a scratch.  
  
Suddenly, there was a whoosh of air and a sudden loud bang which resulted in the   
confusion of everyone.  
  
"Ahhhhhh!" Tiffany shouted as all she could see was a blinding light. The blinding light   
soon faded into a familiar bedroom. She stood shocked.  
  
"AH, AH, AH, AH, AH, AH!" Jessica shrieked in panic, who was in the bedroom as well.   
"My cowboy! Where is he!?! NOOOOOOO!" She collapsed on Mimi's bed and sobbed   
away.  
  
"OMG, you guys! We're home!" Mimi shouted with glee, bouncing up from amidst a pile   
of pink and fuzzy things. Tiffany and Mimi hugged each other and began to cry and wipe   
at their dripping mascara, as Jessica continued to sob into Mimi's pillow.  
  
  
Meanwhile, somewhere in Texas…  
  
  
The sun was setting upon the dusty desert. A cactus grew tall and mighty and cast a   
shadow upon a lone cowboy who wore his hat over his eyes while he played his guitar   
on the tailgate of his dirty truck, and his rust-colored dog sat obediently at his side,   
panting in the heat.  
  
"Oh, I'm sitting on the tailgate of my truck with my dog at my side by a cactus on the eve   
of a fine day in the dusty - dust - dusty land of Texas! Near a ranch with my-"  
  
"Amos! Amos, you come back here and wash up for dinner, boy!"  
  
"-with my ma and my pa with his shotgun on the porch!" he sang. His dog howled at   
the moon.  
  
  
Meanwhile, in the Caribbean…  
  
  
"Jack! We're back on the Black Pearl!" Jill squealed with delight.  
  
"Without the teenyboppers!" Anamaria shouted. Everyone cheered.  
  
"The world is right again," Jack said, taking a huge breath of warm air and squinting   
into the distance where the ocean stretched to the horizon.  
  
"But, I wonder… How DID the world get right again?" Jill asked.  
  
  
Meanwhile, in the Bermuda Triangle…  
  
  
"So I says, I's landing here. My boss says land here, I's land here," Jepp said.  
  
"That's all very interesting, but-" Oswald started.  
  
"Bring me another Martini! And don't yous interrupt! Anyways, so I's done dat and   
all of a sudden dis guy comes up that looks like a debate coach or something and   
puts his filthy arm on my window-"  
  
"Do you want that-"  
  
"-ANYWAYS! So I'm - I'm just sittin' there listening to dis creep blab about some   
crap, when the helicopter starts spinnin' and BOOM! I don't know how it happened,   
but I'm here and-"  
  
"But don't you remember anything?" Oswald asked, exasperated. "The teenyboppers?   
The Black Pearl?"  
  
"What, now dat's a load of crap! All I's be knowing is dat I gots me a pair of really   
styling shoes here, and here I am!"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: THE END! Like? Hehehe! Please review! Thank you all for reading and reviewing   
this whole story! Much appreciated! :D :D :D :D


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